


I Will Try to Fix You

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Malec One Shots [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Post S3E19, based on glimpes of S3E20 from the promo, figure I should tag this as, i refuse to leave things broken for some reason, things turn out alright in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 17:16:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18595837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: In which Magnus realizes his father's intentions, refuses him, and almost pays the ultimate price





	I Will Try to Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably be in bed, my head is swimming, my ear is blocked, and my throat is on fire, but no, instead I am writing goddamn angsty Malec fics. What is wrong with me?
> 
> I love actual, properly trying to be a parent Asmodeus, but... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to tell a story...
> 
> Sanctimonia: virtuousness, chastity, etc.  
> Libidine: Lust, thirst, passion, longing, etc.

   _When you try your best but you don't succeed._  
_When you get what you want but not what you need._  
_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep._  
_Stuck in reverse._

_And the tears come streaming down your face._  
_When you lose something you can't replace._  
_When you love someone but it goes to waste._  
_Could it be worse?_  
Fix You, Colplay

* * *

When he finally realizes what his father wants from him, he refuses, turns away, but his father has ever been persistent. He tries to fight against the magical bands holding him in place, to break through them with brute strength, but his father’s magic has always been stronger than his.

“I will not open a portal to Edom! Not for you!” he growls, still struggling, while his father just smiles.

“I can do that without your aid.” His father answers, shrugging his shoulders. “It would have been nice to have you at my side, but I see now, you’re always going to be too weak to do what you must, I blame your mother. But I am here now, I don’t need you anymore. Perhaps, I’ll sire another, before I destroy this world.”

“What are you going to do to me?” Magnus asks, breathing heavily, finally giving up his fight. “I know your plan; I won’t let you get away with this!”

“Say hello to your mother, for me.” Asmodeus states, causing Magnus to frown, before he suddenly finds a blade in his father’s hands, slicing through his skin.

“B-Baba?” he mumbles, staring down at the blood bubbling up across his torso, from shoulder to hip.

“You should have done what I told you, my son.” Asmodeus says, before blowing away on the wind, his magic falling away. Magnus sinks to his knees, his hands pressing against the cut on his chest, his breaths heavy. With a groan, he reaches out, forms a portal before him and pulls it to himself, closing his eyes as he suddenly finds himself elsewhere.

“Magnus?” a surprised voice calls, Magnus coughs and topples to the floor. “Magnus?” strong hands grip his shoulders, turn him over, he listens as the voice frantically calls for a medic, specifying the need for a warlock.

“Alexander.” Magnus mumbles, reaching up blindly, struggling to open his eyes again, his hand is taken and held tightly. “My-my father. He’s free. Plans… he plans to destroy the world. Through Edom.” He says, stumbling over the words as coherency begins to flee him. “Alexander, I-I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Alec murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You’re going to live, okay? You have to live.”

“Magnus?” Cat’s voice suddenly sounds and before Magnus knows what’s happening, she’s suddenly at his side, her hands glowing with magic. “You’re not going to die, too!” Cat shrieks at him, tears streaming down her face as her body turns blue, her glamour falling as she directs all of her magic to healing him. “I refuse!” She snaps, turning to Alec. “Either draw your alliance rune and help me or give me your strength! But the rune is better!”

“We still haven’t tested the rune, Clary has been… busy.” Alec argues, but he’s already reaching for his stele. “Are you sure?”

“Do it!” Cat all but growls, turning back to Magnus. “And you! You stay awake, you hear me? You stay awake! I’m not losing you, too. I can’t!” She keens at him, barely reacting when Alec draws the alliance rune on her arm. She pulls one hand away from Magnus to draw the rune on Alec, frowning. “Draw your strength, stamina, fortitude, and luck runes on me, then get me another Shadowhunter. We need all the help we can get, and if we can get healing runes on Magnus, we might get lucky.” She commands, as she passes the stele back. Alec nods, and quickly complies, drawing the runes on her skin, before rushing from the room and returning less than a minute later with Izzy, who drops to her knees beside them.

“Magnus?”

“Isabelle.” Magnus slurs, his eyes closed tightly against the pain, but doing his best not to fall into the darkness.

“Draw the alliance rune on his wrist.” Cat orders, before turning to Alec and quickly explaining how to use magic, and how to direct it for healing, soon enough the pair of them have their hands pressed over the wound, healing magic flowing beneath Magnus’ skin.

Izzy scribbles the rune quickly onto Magnus’ wrist, apologizing when Magnus’ hisses and tries to pull away, then she presses the stele into Magnus’ hand, covering his with her own, she forces him to draw the rune on the back of her hand. When that’s done, she snags the stele back and tears Magnus’ shirt open to expose the skin by his heart, where she draws the iratze, the mendelin, and the amissio, along with all the other healing runes she can remember, until Magnus’ torso is riddled with runes, all gently glowing. When she’s finished, she activates various runes on her own body, drawing others, then pockets her stele and asks Cat to explain how to use Magnus’ own magic to heal him.

“Magnus doesn’t have…” Cat starts to reply, before she pauses, a frown forming on her face as she finally recognizes what the familiar energy rubbing up against her own magic is. “You two are explaining this later!” She hisses, before giving Izzy the same instructions she’d given to Alec, and soon the three of them are working quietly to heal the damage done to Magnus, the runes continuing to glow softly while they work.

“Mmm, I’d like to hear this story, too.” Magnus mumbles, the words all but tumbling over themselves to get out of his mouth. “Cat, I’m going to sleep, now, okay?”

“Alright, baby, we’ll be here when you wake up.” Cat soothes, and as if her words are what he was waiting for, Magnus quickly sinks into the darkness.

“Is he going to live?” Alec asks beside Cat, where he’s remained silent since beginning to heal Magnus.

“Can’t say for certain, but his chances are good.” Cat answers, not letting her magic break for a single second. “How did you know his magic was back?”

“Well, he portalled into my office.” Alec answers, refusing to look at Cat.

“Someone else could have portalled him, and that doesn’t explain Isabelle knowing. Besides, Magnus doesn’t seem to have told you.” Cat replies, narrowing her eyes at them. “You can tell me now, or I’ll be sure to take Magnus home with me when we’re finished here and I won’t let you near him,  _ever_ again.”

“I-I did a deal with Asmodeus. He’d give Magnus’ magic back if I broke his heart, and never let him know.” Alec finally answers, staring down at the result of his own foolishness. “I didn’t think-“

“That’s right, you didn’t. But I’ll chew you out about this later. When Magnus is better and Asmodeus is cast back into Edom.” Cat assures him, a scowl forming on her face. “If you love Magnus, you’ll tell him.”

“But-“

“Once Asmodeus gave Magnus his magic back, the deal was done. Only Magnus can give his magic away now, Asmodeus has no right to it, no matter what the terms of your deal were.” Cat explains, watching as the wound slowly, oh, so slowly, begins to close.

“Why is it taking so long?” Izzy asks, frowning at the wound, has seen warlock’s heal similar in seconds, but this feels like it is taking a lifetime, even with three of them.

“Asmodeus is a Fallen Angel. All angels lay claim to a sword unique to them. Lucifer had the Morning Star, Michael had Glorious, Asmodeus has the Sanctimonia, later re-named the Libidine, he never lost possession of it.” Cat explains, with a weary sigh as the wound finally closes. “It’s a corrupted angelic sword. If Magnus wasn’t Asmodeus’ son, I doubt he would have survived, even with our assistance. As it is, he’ll be weeks in recovery.”

“Weeks?” Alec exclaims, looking at the ugly scar that runs from Magnus’ shoulder to his hip. “But-“

“Weeks of recovery is better than death, Alec. Now, I’ve heard that Lorenzo has graciously returned the loft to Magnus, so I’ll take him there. You’re free to come back with me, Alec, but I don’t like leaving Magnus here so vulnerable, especially while his father is on the loose.”

“The Institute is the best place for him.” Alec argues, shaking his head, can’t bear the thought of Magnus out of his reach, again. “He’s safest here.”

“Except your Shadowhunters glare every time I get called here for emergency healing. Every time they see me, someone asks what a Downworlder is doing in the Institute, when they know I’m here normally to heal one of them. Magnus is going to need a lot of hands on care over the next few weeks, I’m not leaving him here to the mercy of Shadowhunters who disdain our presence even after we’ve saved their lives, who disdain our presence even when they know we are here to save their lives.” Cat retorts, shaking her head. “No. He goes back to the loft.”

“Alec, go with her.” Izzy implores him, looking down at Magnus once more as the runes on his skin begin to dissipate, one by one, having done their job. “I’ll hold the fort for you, take some personal time, okay? The man you love almost died in your arms, no one could reasonably begrudge you the time, alright?”

“There’s a Greater Demon on the loose.” Alec reasons, even though he wants nothing more than to be with Magnus as much as he possibly can.

“We’ll handle it, Alec. Go with Cat.”

“Fine.” Alec answers, shoulders slumping. “Fine.” He repeats, as Cat opens up a portal and sends them all to the loft, which looks exactly as Alec remembers it, down to the smallest detail, except… none of his own touches are there. None.

“He must have redecorated before whatever happened with his father.” Cat says, more to herself than to Alec, before she turns to Magnus, with a wave of her hand, he hovers in the air between them, and she guides him down the hall to the master bedroom. She uses magic to pull back the blankets, lies Magnus in the bed and magics his clothing to sleepwear, before gently tucking him in. “Madzie’s staying with a friend, so I’m going to go crash in the guest room, call me if he needs me, okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Cat, for everything.” Alec says, more genuine than he thinks he has ever been.

“Magnus is… he’s my best friend. The only one I have left. He’s not going to get away from me this easily.” Cat assures him, changing Alec into sleep clothes, before turning on her heel and leaving them alone. Alec smiles after her, before turning to crawl into bed, gently wrapping Magnus up in his arms and closing his eyes.

“You were supposed to be safe and happy, not this.” He whispers, knowing he will not receive a response.

* * *

 

Magnus wakes and is immediately surprised by this simple fact, hadn’t truly expected to ever wake again when he’d given in to the darkness, despite Cat’s assurance that he would. Wounds from an angelic weapon are nothing to sniff at, strictly speaking, most Downworlders do not live to tell the tale, somehow, he always does. Walked away from the Institute when he lost so, so many friends to the Soul Sword, walked away from Edom, when anyone else would’ve been torn to shreds by his siblings just for the audacity of appearing there, and, from the looks of things, he’ll walk away from this, too. So, he wakes, tries to ignore the burning pain at the site of his latest war-wound, and takes a long time to open his eyes, just relishing the feel of being alive, of the magic coursing through his veins, of the warmth he feels beside him…

_Wait._

His eyes open of their own accord, searching, seeking out the origin of the warmth at his side because there shouldn’t be anything, there should be no one. Except, there is. Alec is curled up against him, sleeping the sleep Magnus’ recognizes as being rune-induced, Magnus just watches him, waiting for the Shadowhunter to realize he’s being watched and wake, as he always does when he uses the rune to sleep. It doesn’t take him long, barely a minute passes before Alec’s blinking his eyes open, frowning at the ceiling, and then turning to look at him, eyes going wide.

“Magnus, you’re awake!”

“Yes, I’m surprised, too.” Magnus replies, with an amused smile on his lips. “I’m also surprised that you’re here, since I thought-“

“Before you go any further, I have to clear the air!” Alec states, speaking over him. “I made a deal with your father that he would give your magic back to you if I broke your heart and never told you why. I thought you’d… find a way to get over me, like the others in the past and that you’d be able to heal, that with your magic back, you’d be able to find a way to be happy. You said you couldn’t be happy without… so I just… I just wanted you to be happy.”

“Darling, you make me happy.” Magnus whispers, trying to think through everything, how this changes things. How this makes him an absolute fool for not seeing it in the first place, Alec can’t lie to save his own life, and Asmodeus? Just happening to show up when Magnus needed him most? Just happening to give his magic back? No, Magnus should have seen through it from the beginning.

“But I… I don’t.” Alec answers, shaking his head. “You-you said… and I know you said it was the bourbon talking but… you were being honest and I couldn’t… something was always going to give.”

“But not you, it should have never been you.” Magnus says, breathing in deeply and closing his eyes. “Never you, Alec. I love you.”

“So, it should’ve been you? I was just supposed to wait until you broke again, Magnus?” Alec asks, frowning at him. “Because that’s not acceptable, I love you. Seeing you hurting like that was… it was more than I could take. Of course, if I’d known I’d have to watch you nearly die in my arms, I’d have found a different way.”

“You summoned my father, didn’t you?”

“No.” Alec answers, shaking his head, and Magnus believes him. “I went to a warlock to channel him, I didn’t want to risk summoning another Greater Demon and letting him loose, so I went to Vera and-“

“And Vera made the connection, not realizing she was opening a doorway for a Prince of Hell. She wouldn’t have known to smash the mirror afterwards, to fully break the link.” Magnus murmurs, frowning and rubbing his face. “Well, it’s done, Asmodeus is here now. We’ll have to deal with it.”

“The Institute will deal with it. Cat says you’re going to be recovering for weeks.” Alec points out, reminding Magnus of his latest scar and the pain he’s been shoving as far back in his mind as he could. At the reminder, he groans and pushes himself back, closing his eyes and breathing. “Do you need Cat?”

“Yeah.” Magnus answers, wishing not for the first time that warlocks were capable of dulling their own pain with magic, as the burning rises to the front of his mind, licking at his conscious thoughts, a pain as intense as the flames that took him to Edom, just weeks ago.

“I’ll be back.” Alec promises, slipping from the bed. Magnus has to fight down the paranoia that roars within him, fight down the urge to reach out for Alec, hold him tight and never let go. Thankfully, Alec is out of the room before Magnus’ resolve breaks and he’s returning before Magnus has time to really obsess over the idea of Alec leaving him, again.

“Magnus.” Cat’s voice is a miracle and he smiles genuinely through the pain when he hears her, her gentle hands pressing down over his scar and soon the pain is retreating and he lets out a relieved breath even though the pain doesn’t fully disappear, the difference between his two greatest friends. Ragnor would fully dull the pain, while Cat always leaves just the smallest bit, claiming pain serves a purpose and should never be ignored. “If the pain spikes or you feel light headed, let me know immediately, alright?” Cat says, to Magnus, but giving Alec a look as well. Magnus dutifully nods, and with a quick kiss to his forehead, Cat is once again leaving them.

“Are you staying?” Magnus asks, blinking his eyes open to look at Alec again, as the Shadowhunter crawls back into bed beside him.

“Of course.” Alec answers, getting comfortable, before he suddenly freezes. “Unless… do you not want me here?” He asks, Magnus reaches for him immediately, before he’s consciously aware of it.

“Don’t leave me.” He pleads, curling up against Alec, resting his face on Alec’s chest. “Don’t leave me, again.”

“Never, I promise! I love you.”

“I-I love you, too, and I forgive you for breaking my heart.” Magnus assures him, a gentle smile on his lips, that he knows Alec can’t see. “Just… just never do it again.”

“Never.” Alec tells him, before sucking in a breath, like he’s about to ask a question, but then thinks better of it.

“What?” Magnus asks, glancing up at him.

“Hypothetically, if I asked you to marry me, would you say yes?” Alec finally asks, with a raised eyebrow. Magnus snorts and rolls his eyes.

“Hypothetically, do I get a ring out of this proposal?” he retorts, his own eyebrow rising. Alec considers his question, before frowning.

“Hold that thought. If Cat magicked my clothes, do you know where they’d be?” Alec asks, clearly breaking from their hypothetical discussion for a moment. Magnus laughs, moving away from Alec and with a wave of his hand, Alec’s clothes appear on the end of the bed, Alec digs through them, comes up with a little black ball, before shoving his clothing off onto the floor. He clears his throat and rolls part of the ball back to reveal the Lightwood family ring, Magnus breath catches at the sight of it. Why would Alec have this if he wasn’t going to propose marriage? …The dinner. He was going to… and Magnus ruined it.

“So, hypothetically, if I had agreed to marry you, would you have still broken my heart?” Magnus questions, not taking his eyes off the ring.

“Hypothetically, no.” Alec answers, settling back down beside Magnus, smiling when Magnus snuggles back against him. “Hypothetically, if you’d agreed to marry me, I’d have punched Asmodeus in the face… which would have gone over _great_ with Vera… hypothetically, of course.”

“Hypothetically, if I say yes, would you consider becoming immortal, for me? Hypothetically immortal, that is.” Magnus asks, drumming his fingers over Alec’s chest.

“Hmm. Hypothetically, would I have to become a vampire?”

“No.” Magnus answers, with a laugh. “Hypothetically, the Seelie have magic available that could turn you immortal.”

“Then, hypothetically, I would of course, become immortal for you.” Alec agrees, leaning down to press a kiss to Magnus’ head. “Hypothetically, I’d do anything for you.”

“Then, hypothetically, I’d say yes to your proposal.” Magnus replies, truly _giggling_ when Alec gently slides the ring onto his finger. “We’re having a real wedding, though, I won’t stand for hypothetical weddings.”

“You gotta draw the line somewhere.” Alec agrees, seriously, not even a hint of a smile on his face, until Magnus shuffles up to press a kiss to his lips. “Should we tell Cat we hypothetically got engaged?” Alec asks, when the kiss breaks.

“Probably, since she’s giving me away.” Magnus answers, after giving it considerable thought.

“You have to ask her first.” Alec points out, Magnus shrugs.

“If Ragnor were here, they’d have to fight over it, but he’s not, so it’s Cat’s job. We had an agreement.” Magnus explains, smiling softly. “Raphael gets to be my best man.”

“Wait, we have to have someone give us away _and_ a best man?!” Alec exclaims, making a face. “Oh, no, I got it. Jace is my suggenes, he gets to give me away, but Izzy’s my best man… woman.”

“Good choice, I approve. Uh, only issue, Raphael and Izzy are actually going to have to communicate with each other.” Magnus points out, causing Alec to frown.

“Yeah, we’ll figure that out when we get to it.” Alec decides, pulling Magnus into another kiss. “I’m sorry for breaking your heart, I promise I won’t do that again.

“I’m sorry for nearly dying in your arms, I promise to attempt not to do that again.” Magnus replies, stealing another, heated, kiss before Alec can complain about his poor word choice. He’s not going to make a promise he cannot keep.

“We should stop making out before Cat screams at us that you’re still healing.” Alec mentions, when he pulls away, Magnus snorts, but agrees all the same, shuffling back down, so he can rest his head on Alec’s chest again and close his eyes.

“I love you.” He mumbles, feeling suddenly exhausted.

“I love you, too. Go to sleep, I'll be here.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” Magnus grumbles, but he makes himself comfortable, and does, indeed, slip into slumber, causing Alec to laugh, tightening his arms around him.

“I will never leave you again.” Alec promises, before shuffling, making himself as comfortable as he can be, and eventually sleep claims him, too.

* * *

  _Tears stream down your face,_  
_When you lose something you cannot replace._  
_Tears stream down your face a_ _nd I..._

_Tears stream down your face,_  
_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes._  
_Tears stream down your face_ _and I..._

_Lights will guide you home,_  
_And ignite your bones,_  
_And I will try to fix you._  
~Fix You, Coldplay


End file.
